Becoming Isn’t Always Beautiful — But It’s Worth It

Nobody talks about the quiet sadness that comes with outgrowing a version of yourself — even when the growth is good, even when it’s necessary.

It’s always surprising — the way we respond differently than we once would. Each experience chips away at the person we used to be, and with every shift, it feels like we lose a little piece of ourselves. Sometimes, we barely recognize the child who once explored the world with wide eyes and bold wonder. That inner child feels buried — tucked deep inside the hurt, the silence, the softness we were told to hide. It’s like trying to find Nemo in the depths of the ocean — maybe she’s still there, just waiting for someone to call her name.

We carry on, responding to life’s hurdles with quiet resignation. Our hearts absorb the pressure, the disappointments. We wear smiles and perfection like armor, pretending we’re okay — trying to live up to others’ dreams while leaving our own unheard. Late into the night, we lie awake, thoughts racing like a river — yet still, we feel helpless. And still, we rise, wearing another mask to face the day. We build strength out of necessity, even when it hurts. Even when we know this isn’t who we truly are. At times, it feels like we’re just puppets, acting out a script we never wrote.

And then comes the guilt — the guilt of letting go of who we used to be. The nostalgia, even for the version of ourselves who was struggling. We were barely surviving, but we knew her. We see old photos and don’t quite recognize the person looking back — and that’s both comforting and unsettling.

There are days we still miss who we were. But we keep going. We keep evolving. We grow safer, softer, stronger, and more self-aware. We’re not abandoning our old selves — we’re honoring them by becoming someone new.

It’s okay to grieve who you were. She brought you here. And maybe, that’s enough.

You’re already becoming her. And that’s more than enough.

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The next page holds Healing Letter — a reflection on self-compassion and the silent work of healing.